Over the holidays I heard the Tracy Chapman song on the radio and felt instantly transported back to my college canteen and getting crappy instant coffee and 20p hash browns as we waited as 17year olds for our brain to become fully functional.

But also it got me thinking about how powerful the whispers are…the gossip, the influence and at times the hopeful belief/imaginings that change is afoot.

I spend a fair whack of time being pissed off, at myself, at the state of the world, at other people and at one week of the month at absolute everybody. But alongside this ranty state of being I am also prone to dreaming and possibility.

This can be a terrible combination with some things…money for example when I’m a prime target for any sort of advertising: ‘Are you annoyed about your skin/hair/body/energy levels/lack of adventure…can you believe this one supplement/serum/socks (don’t ask)/holiday/retreat can resolve your frustration?’ Yes I am annoyed and yes I do believe-sign me up!!!

So of course although I despise all the new year new me shit-I have naturally purchased mushroom gummies, compressions socks, hair serum, new toothpaste and I’m desperate to book a holiday!!!

But also I am trying to lean into hope, not so much for a better me but for a better world and how I can help bring into existence.

A while ago a friend told me that because her job was mainly concerned with the injustice of the world and the shittiness we can cause each other, she spent her free time writing thank you cards-to friends, local shops and even the leisure centre. It was her way of balancing out the positive and negative.

I find myself vastly consumed with young peoples mental health, and the systems that aren’t there to support them. I feel like the revolutionary whispers that young people should be full of are often cut short before they even get to their mouths.

I look at my own kids and worry about the fucked up world they are encountering. My response to this is often dreaming about running away, leaving all the shit behind. A fresh start that looks a bit like communal living on a farm, with a load of ducks and just opting out of this crazy world. Then I realise I am essentially fantasising about being in a hippie commune-but with more amenities. (That is not necessarily a bad thing, and as someone that did a fair bit of communal living I know the benefits!)

Butttttt what about the here and now, how do we give space for the whispers of change in the systems and the world we live in? How do we allow hope to rise up there? Schools often so restricted on giving time for curiosity and imagination and socialising is so often governed by fear and worrying about doing the wrong thing. So I have been thinking for a while what can I bring that are whispers of hope for my kids.

For me the whispers look like having an open house where my kids friends know they are always welcome, and for my kids having that with others. Them knowing safe spaces and people exist around them.

The other thing I have been doing that feels hopeful is running an after school club where we spend more time reminding ourselves the natural world is pretty darn good. I don’t say this to be showing off like some kind of amazing mum (anyone who knows me knows that is not the case) For a start both of these ideas I took from others (the first being my own mum) and I could do a lot better in both. But I was inspired by thinking about what change can I bring about that gives more time to linger on those whispers.

I am also trying to be hopeful about myself, giving myself more time and space, and not just to watch TV but to see and hear the good in the world. Whether that is a walk or laughing until I cry at a show or a film (or in the case of Hamnet-just crying).

But we need to whisper hope…reminders of good things and new things. The world isn’t set it is constantly evolving and we get to be a part of it. We get to change the story or challenge it.

And those whispers sometimes end up as a roar.