Be the change…not the same

So firstly I was inspired by a food waste collection truck called ‘bio bee’ (it is decorated like a bee) and is run on food waste! I thought they had missed a trick when they had the hashtag ‘bethechange’ and not ‘beethechange’, but alas I googled it there’s a protect the bee campaign that has got there first, and I guess rightly so. We need to protect those girls (most bees are female…the bee movie lies)

Right, anyhow this post is about belonging. Which I am pretty sure I have blogged about before, man this is like my journal the same stuff year in-year out. Except I am no longer trying to work out the probability of me marrying Leo or whether I ever had a chance with some of my older brothers friends, I didn’t.

So lately I have had a lot of conversations with people who are worrying that they don’t belong anywhere. I get that and struggle with it A LOT.

But I have also had a small revelation, and here it is; ‘you do not need to be the same to belong’ (I know its kinda strongly hinted at in the title so it probably wasn’t a shocker)

We are just in the process of moving church, and we are moving from a very large congregation where we got away with swanning in pretty late or being away for a few weeks and its no biggie because well its huge, and its difficult to notice people when there are so many of us. It has been a great church, but now we live in a different area and we have our local (and also great)church, where I go to playgroup (yes often for the last 20 mins) and I see local families there, and once ate a lot of takeout there (a good sign of good people)! So it makes sense to be part of that community. But being a small congregation you notice stuff a lot quicker, like people believing a few different things to us. Which of course, existed in the bigger church, you just didn’t notice so often.

And then little insecurities start speaking to you ‘these are not your people, you do not believe that…’ sounding familiar to the voices you heard as a teenager ‘you cannot go on that trip you do not own a kappa jumper or the popper tracksuit bottoms what will you wear? (looking back I thank the Lord that I didn’t have them)’ or at Uni ‘do not say anything Jen, you have only been to a few countries and you have never fully read and understood any political/economics book…these are not your people…and you are wearing New Look and not People Tree…they will know you are a fake’.

But somewhere in our minds we have made the assumptions that only the same have a real bond-like a surreal magical twin thing. And that is the true sign of a deep connection. Not true-I’m calling BS on it!

(Though ‘Sister Sister’ TV show was different…they were just class and PTL that its coming back!)

We are not the same as lots of people in that church, and I bet they are glad of that, but it is equally stupid of me to assume that they are all the same, and just I am different. They are a family of people, and belonging isn’t restricted to whether or not you support the womens march, or buy Fairtrade or watch Stranger Things or not. (Btw those are random examples…I have never seen ST)

It is surely more, its about accepting people as they are, and loving them even when its hard. My biological family are pretty loud and opinionated, and we disagree A LOT, as anyone who has visited us will know all too well, but we belong to each other.

So be the change, be you, and accept others for being them and then slowly but surely we can start to belong.

One thought on “Be the change…not the same

  1. I just read this aloud to Dave and we both laughed and I teared up a little bit because you’re so damn honest, Jen. It’s what life needs. Honesty. And yeah, thinking feeling looking and speaking differently is what makes life so awesome. And real. Your wee girl is so blessed to have you both. 😁


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s