As sang by the Philosopher Des’ree and then remastered by David Brent. Oh how I love ‘The Office’ -it conjures up memories of my younger brother quoting Gareth and David’s lines and Mike and I watching it on Christmas Eve, the day after we got married-yup we are that kinda cool couple.

Anyway, jokes aside-urghhh Money. This feels like the dirtiest, most shameful post…I do not like it.

It feels like it has way more control than I would like it to have, and definitely more than I like to admit.

It’s the thing I most hate talking about, and I love to talk.

Mostly because I am shit with it-I have never really saved, for a while I believed I was really good with it…but no, it just turns out I didn’t have access to any at that point in my life so I was just restricted. But, for example, at the end of my first year at Uni, I was 22 and looked at my bank balance and I had over a grand available…so I went travelling that summer…it was in fact, my overdraft-not so much available savings, as debt…anyway it took me until after my University course to clear that overdraft despite working  2 part time jobs for the duration of my course!

My parents despair, my Dad worked as an accountant for most of his life and they were careful with their money and don’t really understand how I am so terrible with budgeting and living within my means… to the awful point they apologised to Mike when we got engaged…there are many things wrong with that, let along the ridiculously patriarchal sentiment that makes. I was 27 at that point, and can say they were no longer responsible for my spending.

But this highlights an issue for me… I can, and do, ascribe to the Feminist fight for equality but this is an area where my actions don’t currently back up my values. I am not independent…I lean strongly on the earnings of others.

I think the issue confuses me because I don’t really frivolously spend…I don’t have tons of clothes or shoes, all my makeup and perfumes are gifts, I haven’t got an expensive hobby…so where does my money go…at a guess coffee, food and cards.

The sad thing is I think that is actually true?!

And I spend it on that because (I am addicted to caffeine and sugar…I jest but its true…today I saw banana bread with espresso butter!) and also because I want to hang out with people.

But I need to be better at having people around and not meeting in coffee shops. Also because feeling at home in someones house, being welcomed in-that is seriously a gift!

Right well I am going to try and get a grip on this money situation once and for all…well at least put in place some good habits.

So a weekly budget is coming my way…as is less cake (oh my these are desperate times ahead, but c’mon Jen you no longer have a newborn who is up all night, you don’t need daily chocolate and cake!)

Beyonce would tell me to get my butt in gear, whilst shaking hers no doubt.

Dolly-well I reckon she is genius with money and probably a really good saver.

Jesus-reminds me to live generously, but I imagine in a way that doesn’t cause other people pain, or stress my husband out. (And a stressed out Mike is the worst type of Mike)

I am taking back control, I am going to show my finances whose boss!

So this is it, my promise:

Is that I, Jen Lister, do solemnly swear to take some steps to get my financial house in order.

 

Also companies stop asking me to claim back money from my mis-sold PPI, sadly I wasn’t sold any PPI. Neither do I have any tax rebate due, I have no hidden wealthy relatives (I have checked), I do not want to join a pyramid scheme and I have not been in an accident (but even if I had I wouldn’t claim…because I hate the suing culture-blurgh!)

Finally a confession: I once volunteered as a debt support worker, I had more debt than the individual I was supporting…I don’t think I should have volunteered for this!