I am typing this whilst eating a tea of potato waffles and mayo, having anti-bacced everything I can and trying to work out what to prioritise in my to do list which is in my mind, because paper can’t hold this many items.

Mike is upstairs puking his guts up (hope you aren’t reading this whilst eating) as he seems to have caught the bug that is going around. I have decamped to the spare room and praying that the snot Faith and I are producing at the moment, will act as a barrier to keep the other germs at bay (not sure if thats a very scientific theory but we are going to work with it).

Meanwhile in the back of my mind I have a million questions going around like;

• what date did I book that appointment for?
• There’s this job I am going to apply for-will they want me? How flexible can I/they be with hours? What will we do about childcare? Will Faith adjust to being away from me-what will she eat (she is currently only eating cucumber, petit filous and guzzling breastmilk and has just rejected the bottle the last two nights 😦 )
• Is it bad that I am only eating potato waffles?
• I need to look into tax credits and do my tax return for my last job-which box holds all my expenses paperwork?
• What to buy for family for Christmas?
• When do we get our Christmas tree? Can I cope with getting a smaller one and putting it on a table (safer vs less good?)
• Can I carry on doing the youth work I am doing? What about local stuff? What about mentoring…am I even managing to meet with the one mentee I still have?
• What do I think about church? And for that matter what do I think about I believe-how will we share with Faith what we believe? Are we living out our values? What actually does Mike believe?
• I need to get some waterproof boots and a new coat?
• Does Faith need shoes? Some babies seem to wear shoes and well, we are winning if she is wearing socks!
• Will Mike give in and let us get a cat?
• I need to get back into driving…I should book a lesson just to ease me back in?
• Are we being good friends to people?
• Will Faith sleep through the night…tonight…ever
• Can you feel the love tonight? 🙂

Less so the last one, but what a cracker of a Disney song that was. Anyway this mixture of questions is whirling around my mind…and the question I hate the most in all of this is ‘What do you want Jen?’ because apart from some lovely stationary, accessories and a decent espresso martini…I don’t know!

Because I want to work, but I also want Faith to feel safe and happy and cared for.

I want to be a good friend, but I also want to be friendly and open to new people I meet.

I want to be support our local church but I also want to invest in a community of believers (and non-believers) that are wider than this geographical location.

I want to learn more but I also want to apply and reflect on the stuff I have already learnt.

I want to be carefree and looked after, but I also want to be independent and empowered.

I want to know how to prioritise…

When do you get taught that?

Is that what being an adult is?

So any advice on this malarkey let me know…

Also little tidbit for you there is a film with Jodie Whitaker in (the New Doctor!!) called ‘Adult Life Skills’ that came out last year…its bloomin brilliant, go see it!

Oh and finally I am going to put the tree behind a table…then it can act as a barricade and I can still get a large norwegian non-drop called Norman.