Protect yourself

Feels like a strap line for contraception or a seat belt or maybe just a health checkup…if it isn’t already then maybe I am better at this marketing malarkey than I knew. Move over  #madmen its #madjen (doesn’t quite have the same ring to it)

Every now and again I have a bit of a social anxiety panic. My mind races through my last 12/24hoirs trying to attribute this sinking guilt feeling with my actions that day-what had I done wrong. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does it is scary because there is no resolution.

I got it the other night (it nearly always comes to me in the evening/night. Rather than just be grateful it’s over I have tried to do a bit of a self care check up.

Anyway that is not what its about, funnily enough. It is about survival, and about being healthy. What do you need to keep you together?

  • A good cry whilst watching Steel Magnolias (any film with any slight emotional moment if you’re me)
  • Laughing until you struggle to breathe with your friends
  • A walk/run/cycle/swim
  • 10 minutes on your own (sometimes just breathing sat on the loo, sometimes playing mind numbing games like candy crush and solitaire)
  • writing a blog
  • To unfollow people on social media who make you feel crap
  • To celebrate some achievements whether that is survival or the fact you’ve managed to clean up a lot of crap (literal crap wins you extra bonus points) this week
  • To scream into a pillow or a wide open space
  • look at your bank balance and budget for that week, because even if its just sorting out that one week its a step in the right direction
  • have a strong coffee
  • To pray-whatever that may look like
  • To hold someones hand
  • To have a pet cat/dog/armadillo sit with you and show you some affection
  • To indulge in rubbish TV
  • To have that conversation that has been brewing for a long time…or to finally let it go because you have spent too long trying to get the words you need and they still aren’t there
  • To sing and dance in your kitchen to some great tunes with the utensils as props (obviously always recommend Dolly and Whitney…but also love Salt’n’Pepa today and Sia)
  • To have a date night/morning/day…just some time with your partner (we went driving and bought drive thru doughnuts and guys it was life saving)
  • To learn a new skill, start a new group, heck maybe even give craft a go.

We all need moments that keep us together…some we can access every day, some are once in a lifetime. Some of these you need to explain and ask for other peoples permission/engagement…but some you can just do whenever you darn well feel it.

I am in a BIG discussion with myself about this blog, about handing over control over who gets to read it. I am slightly worried about someone taking over my life in a very ‘The Net’ (1995 Sandra Bullock movie) way…but then I remind myself I am not remotely famous and have no cash/power to steal. But I also worry it would change what I get to write. But the truth is, I already change what I write based on you reading it. No, I haven’t started ‘editing’ things properly….otherwise, I hope you’d see an improvement in my grammar! But I am aware family and friends read it and sometimes I just want to vent…and you not to know me.

To be fair…I do still vent A LOT. But guys, in my head, there is way more venting-I am like a ventilator (haha asthmatic joke there…I can make it cos I am a legit member of the asthmatics club).

Sometimes the things we do affect others, but sometimes they don’t as well. Disclaimer I have temporarily unfollowed people’s accounts for a season and you know what…they didn’t even notice! I am sure people have given me a wide berth in the past…because they need to. That is ok. We often do this because we are protecting ourselves not because we think there is anything wrong with the other person.

We just need some breathing space.

(Also I have NWA’s ‘express yourself’ playing on a loop in my mind…except it is singing ‘protect yourself’ maybe it can be a jungle for one of the above mentioned ad ideas?)

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